So I’ve been going through these things in life trying to understand a lot of the simple things. I’ve had for the longest time, pain in my legs, back and stomach. It comes and goes and ranges in severity. Friday night was probably the worst amount of pain I had ever been in. I almost woke my roommate or anyone who would listen to take me to the hospital but I was afraid they would look down on me. Or be upset that I woke them at 4am.

In doing some research I began looking at the symptoms of what I have to try and figure it out. I mean I’ve known for a while now that I’m ‘depressed’ but I always thought that was it. There was just some Chemical imbalance. No drugs were working properly though. They would work just fine between periods but the second I hit one it was like a roller coaster ride and I could go from happy to psychotic in 2 seconds flat. Hell I could do it faster than that at times. I hurt friends and I lost friends but I never understood what was going on. We tried changing the drugs we tried different activities hell I tried staying away from the computer but something more was going on.

So I wrote down all the symptoms and I began looking. It’s called Endometriosis… and it effects moods, causes pain and can give a Vertigo effect. While I still have a lot of testing to do for it… I’m confident this is it. It’s finally going to make sense.

The pain in my legs that could keep me up for hours, it was described as growing pains. I’m 25 almost 26 and I haven’t gained a fraction of an inch in years.
The back pain and stomach pain, I thought I just had really bad periods… because you know I got them rarely… but sometimes the pain was there even when I didn’t have a period. And then the stomach pain was unreal at times.
The vertigo. I for the longest time thought it was a lack of sleep or an Iron defeciency. I’ve tried vitamins, more excersize, more sleep but I would still have these moments where I would just lose myself. The world would continue to spin and I couldn’t understand what was wrong hell I could not understand what was going on.
Everything was starting to make sense. Constipation followed by bouts of diaherria, pain or blood even in stool. I’ve found so many of the problems staring back at me with the same answer.

There’s been an answer all along, I should have known there would be one. Now its just a point of getting it fixed and finally getting back to normal.

-Sheyna

One of the many things I’m trying to do now a days is get out and see more of the things I use to love seeing. This includes Plays. Now while I had never until tonight experienced a musical, I have seen many Shakespeare Plays and I have particiapated in a few as well. I use to love acting.

I had the opportunity with a bunch of my girlfriends to see “Chicago” and needless to say it was flipping amazing. I enjoyed every moment of it and if given the opportunity I would go and see it again.

So here is my list of Plays or Musicals I would like to see:

Hamlet (I’ve seen it once, I’d like to see it again)
Romeo and Juliet
Greace (Coming in July!!!)
Mamma Mia (December!)
Improv Finals (Dunno when these are)

I want to see more but really being that Ottawa, capital of Canada or not, is still a small city we don’t get as many plays as we could. With luck I’ll see more that interest me and get out of this apartment and out seeing more theatre.

I’m also hoping to get out and see a bit more of my city and get a little more involved in it. I’m going to be looking into doing some volunteer work sometime soon. Just more of the things that will get me out.

Anyway, Chicago. Awesome.

Ciao

So this past week has been, well exhausting. I’ve had so much work to do in regards to writing my book that it’s really hard to get the other things in life sorted out. Yet, I can’t say I’ve ever been happier.

Last night was awesome, I got to try role playing with the new group that I’ve been working on starting. Though not everyone was there, it was really awesome to give it a shot and I hope that I get some more time to do that sometime soon. I’m hoping at least -fingers crossed-.

So, I work on some anime websites, and I like working on them but sometimes I feel like there just isn’t enough time in the day. The sad part is… I don’t even know or really like Anime as much as I used to. I mean I don’t hate it but I don’t exactly go out of my way to watch it. My boyfriend is big into it but I just can’t seem to find the groove at times. What is actually amusing to me about it is that fact that while this remains true, I seem to know a lot more about anime now a days than I ever did. I’ve started doing work on Anime Globe which is an Anime News website. It’s fun but sometimes when I read what I’m writing I have no idea what it is I’m really talking about.

Yet, it’s what friends do. My friend Sarah asked me to do this. Igor is my friend. I might not be that into Anime but I am into helping my friends so if this is what they need than by damn I’m going to do it. I’m hoping actually that by doing it I’ll be able to get myself back into Anime a bit. Hopefully -fingers crossed here too-

Anyway, my book is begging for attention and considering I’m so close to the finish line I think I’m going to dot that attention needed onto it.

I can say for sure this week, while productive has been… well EXHAUSTING. I’ve been working really hard at work, afraid I might get let go or something because there has been some recent firings at the office that has everyone edge. Established or not, everyone there is fair game. So really all we can do is keep our nose in our own business. Keep to ourselves and work hard. So working hard it is.

I’ve also been working hard on the RPG group and on my writing. Sometimes I wish the group was just up and operating already so I could just releive some of the stress in a game. However, it’s not so I’ll just have to deal. Anyway, this post is short because unlike yesterday I’m not all fired up, I’m just.. well tired.

lol. I have writing to do so I’ll get to that <333s

-Sheyna Plamondon

Did you ever realize how much life is like one big game. We either win or we lose, we really don’t fall in between. Now whether we win big or win small that’s the difference. Everyone can be a “winner” in a sense but just wow. I’m unbelievably amazed at how many of these games I’ve lost.

The biggest game with me is the game of maintaining a friendship. I’ve always put in 100% effort. No matter what I do I always give it my all and that includes friendships. I put my heart on the line everytime and sadly I’ve been burned quite a few times. Now there is this girl at work, and well we’re so alike that we don’t get along. At all. Our hobbies differ but our minds work the same way when it comes to loved ones and frienships. She told me once that everyone doesn’t think like us and we have to forgive them of that fault. I didn’t then and I do now. I know now that what I may do in a situation isn’t the same as what others may do but I have learned something very important over the past few weeks.

No matter how you react to a situation it is NEVER EVER acceptable to tell someone to grow up and turn away. Then expect to one day be friends again. You know IF they’re better. You are not god, you are not perfect. People make mistakes. This friend told me a real friend will tell you to your face when you’re being a bitch and you’ll not only accept the fact you’ll apologize and forgive them for being ‘mean’. You will accept the worst of you and you will work to change it. During that time the people who are your REAL friends will stand at your side and help you get through it. I’ve pretended long enough that the problems were my own. They are not my own they are shared.

I didn’t break and destroy my friendships, they weren’t there to begin with. At this moment in my life I am going through some of the hardest times. I’m not broke and living on the streets but I am in a mental state that is fragile and while I don’t need to be cuddled and protected I do need friends that will tell me flat out when I’m being an idiot. Friends that are not there. They are not asking me how I am, even when I Ask them. They are not there because they don’t want to be there when it’s rough. They’re there for the good times well I’ll tell you something now.

This point in my life is a rough patch. I will get through this. And when I’m in the good times. You won’t be there either, because I don’t want you there. I want friends that when the rough times come they’re going to be standing there beside me telling me “We’ll get through this together.”

To those who have gone from my life. I wish you nothing but the best of luck, but let’s face it. I’m not the only one that needs to grow up. Man up. Face your problems and face your faults. And you know what hiding from them only makes them worse. So whether it means something to you or not. You lost a friend in me, I won’t be standing there waiting for you to come back to me. I won’t be standing there when you need help because you aren’t standing here when I’m asking for help myself.

So as I start this little RP group that I’ve decided to do I’ve been getting to know more people. It is kinda strange to be meeting all new people at this age. Especially since for Role Playing the majority of the people I meet are younger than me. Far younger than me.

In meeting these people though i can say the most interesting question I’ve gotten is “You are a girl right?” Yes I am a girl… my screen name does indeed say Lady in it. LadyPSerenity being that screen name. However, I tend to play guys in Role Playing games because I tend to play the people that are leading countries or secret service agencies… thus most of those people do tend to be guys. Though I do like playing a female character I kinda enjoy playing guys it’s fun!

Anyway my dinner is ready and I got lots to do tonight!

-Sheyna