Somedays you just want to scream, at the top of your lungs about everything that is getting on your nervers but you don’t. Somedays you want people to listen and other days you don’t care if you’re screaming at the wall, you just want to get it out. Today was one of those days.
While I don’t feel the absolute need for someone to listen, or to actually scream I do feel the need to get everything that is driving me absolutely crazy off of my chest.
I have this co-worker. She’s a nice person, is very compasionate about those she considers friends and likes to help other people out. Much like myself, I imagine she likes helping other people out because for a small part of it she feels more useful when she does than when she does not. She has a baby, well a son… not so much a ‘baby’ anymore as he’s over a year old, and anything over a year I find is more a small child than a ‘baby’. I’m happy this child makes her happy and that all the little things he does she finds adorable, and I’m sure most people with children or wanting children do too. I’m twenty-five, turning twenty-six this year. I do not find the mispronounciation of words and the growing phases of children that I do not know cute. I really don’t even find kids as adorable… kittens are adorable… kids right now are a lot of work. So when she imitates the baby, it is not cute, nor is it funny it’s just well annoying. I’m most of the time trying to work, and I would rather be able to concentrate on that then talk about babies. Sorry I’m just not ready yet. It’s not that your kid isn’t cute or that what he does isn’t cute, it’s just I’m not ready for kids so I really just don’t need to hear all about them.
I’m trying, desperately to be polite, and laugh when she does it, or compliment her on how ’sweet’ her baby is, but honestly… I’m tired. I’m busy and I don’t have time.
I did not even check my emails until 4:00pm today. I mean I checked the important ones that had to do with work but the joke emails and the personal emails, they were not looked at till the end of the day. I did not have time to check the weather, or the news. I barely had time for breaks and lunch. Hell I even only had one break in the morning, there was not time for the second one in the afternoon.
I guess I’m getting fustrated because while I understand this is the real world and no one is going to pat me on the back for everything I do, sometimes a “you’re doing well” wouldn’t hurt. So I know that I’m not f’ing everything up and that I’m not about to be fired tomorrow.
I work hard, everyday. EVERYday. There are times where I may slow my productivity to make the lack of work last a little longer but I am ALWAYS done everything that has to be done at the end of the day. If it’s busy I forego my breaks and if really busy I do the same with my lunch. Staying late would NEVER bother me. I don’t even really care if I get paid sometimes. AS long as people just acknowledge I’m willing to do that.
Sometimes shit happens and we deal with it. We had plans but not all plans go through. Sometimes we’re running late. When the work has to be done it has to be done. If I planned on leaving early but a lot came in, then a lot came in and I have to get it done, and I’ll just have to be late to wherever it was I had to go. (and I hate being late for anything)
I don’t know. I guess in the end all my work ethic is not the same as most people. I have this whole ’shit happens’ attitude towards things. Sometimes shit happens and I have to suck it up and do it. Getting all self righteous about it is not going to get the work done. It’s not going to make everything all better. It’s just stuff that has to get done. Whether I like it or not, and I can bitch about how it came to me at the last minute later.
Ah well, it was a long day, a busy one too. Needless to say I’m exhausted and have a book to finish. One and a half chapters, plus an epilogue and an Author’s Note to go. I’m almost there! Now to try and get a hold of my editor….where the heck is she!
Lots of Love.
Sheyna