It’s been a long time since I wrote on here, mostly because I seem to never find the time to just sit and write what I feel. I’ve spent a lot of time getting myself together and finding where I was going but not a lot of time really deciding what I want from life.
Honestly it is really hard to decide what I really want from life, because most of the time I simply want everything to fall into place. Nothing however, nothing worth having is every easy. It is never going to fall into place for me, I have to make it work together and sometimes I forget this fact. Sometimes I curse the wind and yell at the heavens as I try to find answers as to why everything feels so hard. Really my life is no where near as hard as many others. I’m accomplished in that I have a job, I wrote a book, I live on my own and pay my own bills. I have a job which in the economy today is more than many others can say.
Life is hard, it makes whatever happens worth it. It makes you strive for what you want and then when you have it you appreciate it more. I appreciate my job because I had to work for it. I appreciate the people around me because I know they work to be there for me, and I work to have them there for me.
In all honesty the hardest part of life is letting go… and today I’m letting go.

This is an open letter to those I have loved and lost and to those I have loved but never really had.

I wish you luck, but I’m going down a different path now. Years from now you may try and come back into my life, but it will never be the same. I will never trust you because when I needed you most you walked away. I may have hurt you in some way but you have left me with scars. I fear trust now. I fear holding on because to me in the end, everyone leaves.
Yet, in all of this I wish you nothing but the best. I wish you good fortune and long life. May you find your happiness and joy that you can appreciate what is given to you without thought or jealousy.
In our times you have inspired me, but now you are like an anchor around my neck dragging me down. I must move on. Goodbye.

Sheyna